soselfimportant: 4:35 Blaze it sorry traffic was crazy
Thank you for taking the time to send me the stock “Happy Birthday” text. Must be change of pace from you never talking to me and conveniently ignoring my messages. It’s not like you had anything else to say to me anyways.
when you start liking someone: ah fuck
I really need to stop drinking 18 hours after I woke up.
That moment when your parents know you’re too intelligent to do anything TOO stupid. “Please count on your hand how many times I’ve come into your house piss on yourself drunk; because despite popular belief alcohol will do that” If anyone was wondering that would be 0
geekboots: meladoodle: try to close someone’s eyes like a corpse when you’re bored of talking to them OH MY GOD YES